Turncoat Peanut
Turncoat Peanut
Written by Aaron Nathans

The ballfield below, I remember the smell/I ripped open the bag and I cracked that shell
Popped 'em in my mouth, and cheered for my team/Before my boy wasn't even a gleam
Every day as a child/Every day as a man/I'd sit with a jar with a spoon in my hand
Protein-packed, crunchy or smooth/This awakening's gonna be rude
Turncoat, thy name is peanut/I thought you were my friend
You were most delicious/But now we're at an end

Sitting at the reception/Little jacket and tie
We handed my boy a cookie/Innocent as pie
Next thing you know he’s all swelled up/His little face went red
Took him to the doctor/And here’s what the doctor said
She said, turncoat, thy name is peanut/Nuts are not his friend
Good thing you got him tested/Here's your Epi Pen

Now I'm looking at labels
And checking them twice
Checking his sandwich
And checking his rice
Running ahead to
Every bloody door
Before he can knock
And say trick or treat
Explaining at day care
Explaining at school
Explaining at birthdays
Explaining at kid's shows
Asking the waiter
Who calls for the manager
Who calls for the owner
Who calls for his lawyer
Who reads a disclaimer
That says that a peanut
May once have been somewhere
Within half a mile
Of the factory that makes our, that makes our,
peeeeeeeeet, za

Turncoat thy name is peanut/You just don’t fit in
Once you leave the premises/The party can begin
Pieces of Reese’s, PB & J/Roasted or toasted I sent them away
Sauce over pasta, creamy panang/Now they're gone, all I feel is a pang

Turncoat thy name is peanut/You threaten my flesh and blood
You were most delicious/But now your name is mud