What Might Be In It

WHAT MIGHT BE IN IT

I was down at my local salad bar, heavy hitters gather from near and far
On Sundays, right after the blessing, eat tons of lettuce drenched in dressing
Amidst the iceberg nestled a couple dishes of tuna fish salad looked so delicious
I scooped a big glob up onto my plate, sat down at my table to masticate
I never did know what it had in it, but I was in a bad way in under a minute
Hit my stomach such a horrible whallup
Don’t ever eat food that comes in dollops

The sign said, “Breakfast, all you can eat!”, and since I can practically see my feet
Over the paunch of my manly gut, I lacked the sense to keep my mouth shut
So I helped myself to this and that with emphasis on salt and fat
Smothered it all in white cream gravy, it sure looked good, I don’t mean maybe
But five plates in I began to feel queasy, watch out for food that’s cold and greasy

Don’t get me wrong, cheap food is cool! And nobody’d call me a spend-thrift fool
But I find sneeze screens kinda scary, botulism and dysentery
And on the subject I guess we might as well say a few words about hepatitis
All its flavors from A to Z, can’t help but worry me...

But y’all go ahead, just be aware, there’s so much wonderful food to share
And I know you’d hate to miss a minute
Just don’t forget what might be in it!