Edward Bear

My teddy bear got drunk last night, His fur was on the floor
And under it there was a teddy bear note saying
You don’t love me no more
So I went in to see him, I was going to tell the lie
But even with a hangover, He stared me down with his beady eyes

Well it had been a couple of years my eyes were filled with tears as I
Cradled him in my arms
He was old and misused, aah but that’s most of his charms
So I sat there silently, drinking coffee from a cup
I knew what he was going to say, before he started up

He said you don’t cuddle and you don’t snuggle
Up with me no more
What’s the good of having an Edward
If you don’t use what he’s for
And you’re naïve if you believe
Edward bears don’t care
When people get upset they wrinkle like a prune
But Edward’s just lose their hair.

He said you’ve been unfaithful you’ve got a dog with you, till late
Whose eyes are alight in the dead of night
When you put your foot on the brake, and to tell the truth I’m unhappy, cause now that you’ve grown,
I don’t have any little child, to pick up when they’re down.

Chorus

So won’t you listen to me, to what I’m telling you
Why don’t you give me to some little child,
Who needs me more than you do,
And maybe they’ll get upset as my dust starts falling out
But for a while, we’ll be happy, That’s what bears are all about